do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Randomize
