Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize
