So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
