What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
