HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
