yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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