there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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