Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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