So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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