I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
