wakey wakey hands off snakey
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Randomize
