I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
