white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Randomize
