Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
