If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
