you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Randomize
