all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
