So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
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