As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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