i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
