I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
