I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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