Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I just googled if crying burns calories
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
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