An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
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