so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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