I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize
