hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
