With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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