I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I need a burrito and a hug.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Randomize
