I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
