i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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