He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Randomize
