i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
