so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
