he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
