those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
