Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
