We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
vagina is talking i cant
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
