apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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