you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Randomize