For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
