found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
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