i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
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