Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
