the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Randomize
