dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Randomize
