I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Randomize
