At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Randomize
