something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Randomize