he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
