Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
40s are totally the cure
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
