dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Randomize
