is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
