i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
