You just made me feel so damn special
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
He did a backflip because drugs
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize
