i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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