Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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