No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
