can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Randomize