dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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